Economically Hard Times

2006

This is a photo of Suzy when she was five years old - she is the youngest of my three daughters, and then we added five boys.  Yeah, it was just like it sounds.  ;)  I took this photo during a dark time in our family's life.  My husband had a job with a small business.  The man moved us from Blackfoot to St.  Anthony that year because he sold the Blackfoot/Pocatello region.  One week later the man decided to hire his nephew and let my husband go.  There's not much in St. Anthony, and the only job my husband could find in that moment was a job with a cabinet maker that paid $7/hr.

I wasn't much help.  The twins weren't even six months old yet - I was still trying to breastfeed them while supplementing with formula.  My other boys were only two and a half years old - so I had four in diapers.  I was dealing with postpartum depression, my thyroid crashed, and I had a teenager that couldn't find happiness.  I was swamped in my own hell.  The only bright spot in my life was the La Leche League meetings that only I and the woman having the meetings showed up to.  She later told my mom that she considered ending those meetings, but worried that I needed them so she didn't.  I will always be grateful because yes, I needed them very badly.

You never know how such a small thing you do makes a big impact on someone else.

Needless to say, our rent was sometimes late.  In fact it usually was, but we were using everything we had to pay it.  We sold some things.  We didn't spend our money on extras.  We had to be on church assistance for food which we were unhappy about, but our food storage had been wiped out two years prior when my husband's catering business plummeted.  We hadn't had time to build it back up before the next crisis hit. But we always paid the rent.

The woman we rented from...  she was interesting.  She would park down the street and pace in front of our house. Sometimes she would sit across from us in her car and stare at our window.  It was scary.  We later found out that she painted over mold before we moved in, but didn't disclose that information when we signed the contract.  My husband and one of the kids became ill.  These actions did not help the situation.

That was the Christmas Russ told me we needed to focus on Christ and other people instead of ourselves.  He didn't want the kids focusing on how sad Christmas morning might be.  So we made up a scriptural list of the 12 Days of Christmas that centered on Christ and delivered it to two families - one, a single man who wasn't active in our church, and the other a new family in the ward with a single mother.  My children still remember "ding dong ditching" the goodies on the porch.  Once we were stopped by a cop because a neighbor was concerned.  He told us he'd let the neighbor know it was just a family leaving good cheer!  THAT'S a story we won't forget!

When I asked the girls what they remember about living in St. Anthony, they told me it was the 12 Days of Christmas that stood out to them, and the old house (which was cool and a part of St. Anthony history - but that's a story for another time).   They don't remember that Christmas being the one without many gifts.  They don't remember their mom sobbing because her hormones were shot.   They don't know about my husband's worries.  They don't even remember the sheriff waking us up in February posting a notice that the house was going up for auction in a few months because the landlords didn't pay the mortgage.  (Russ had just gotten a solid job with a granite shop in Rire, and we were excited to be solvent again.  That was a painful blow.)

My oldest DOES remember the four in diapers though!  ;)  I don't think that's something easily forgotten!

I know they also remember helping serve Thanksgiving dinner to families in need.  It was the first time we did it, and for years later Savannah (my middle daughter) sought ways to serve Thanksgiving to the poor.  Suzy has been donating cans to the local food bank as well as paying tithes and offerings.  In the city we now live in, there is a community dinner and my children help out there several times a year.  We know how scary it is to be in hard economical times, and want to pay forward any peace we can.

I'm grateful my husband thought to give his family the gift of something positive to focus on.  In May 1996 Richard G Scott shared:

A pebble held close to the eye appears to be a gigantic obstacle.   Cast on the ground, it is seen in perspective. Likewise, problems or trials in our lives need to be viewed in the perspective of scriptural doctrine. Otherwise they can easily overtake our vision, absorb our energy, and deprive us of the joy and beauty the Lord intends us to  receive here on earth. Some people are like rocks thrown into a sea of problems. They are drowned by them. Be a cork. When      submerged in a problem, fight to be free to bob up to serve again with happiness.

                                                                                                      ~ Finding Joy in  Life


There were scars that were made during that time.  Five years later I wondered if they would ever heal.  When we moved out I received the nastiest email from the landlord's wife that said some very cruel things.  We didn't answer it.  Later that family moved into our new ward.  We didn't say anything, and I tried being nice to her in nursery.  She wasn't interested.  It turned out they had lost their other house, one we had nothing to do with, yet we were being blamed for that loss as well.  Finally they moved away, and then we moved to where we currently live.

For years after I would have anxiety going into the store because what if I put too much in the cart?  What if my debit card was rejected?  I admit, even now, I still prefer to pay in cash.  When using the debit card it sometimes take a moment to process and I feel this jerk to my insides.  I am STILL nervous that things will be rejected, even when I know there is plenty of money in the account!

That said, I am happy to say that it seems my scars are healing.  I have since been through some other trials that made this period of time seem like a picnic.  I've also practiced letting go.  Sometimes it takes a little time, but as long as we're trying, the healing of the heartache comes to pass. I have more joy as I learn to lean more on Christ.  As Elder Scott continued to say in the same talk:

Sadness, disappointment, and severe challenge are events in life, not life itself. I do not minimize how hard some of these events are.   They can extend over a long period of time, but they should not be allowed to become the confining center of everything you do. The  Lord inspired Lehi to declare the fundamental truth, “Men are, that  they might have joy.”  That is a conditional statement: “they might  have joy.” It is not conditional for the Lord. His intent is that each   of us finds joy. It will not be conditional for you as you obey the   commandments, have faith in the Master, and do the things that are necessary to have joy here on earth.

And that is my story for Blue Raspberry Sunday today.  Now it's your turn:  Have you, or a family member/ancestor ever been through an economically hard time?  Were they able to pull through and/or were they able to pull through it?  How has that impacted you?  Your family?

Enjoy!  Just in case you're interested, here is the 12 Days of Christmas we devised that year. It was economically doable:

Savannah and Suzy pulling out the prayer rocks

Day 1: A Star shining brightly in the sky! Helamen 14:1-5 
(Attached to a shiny star ornament)

Day2: Two Scripture Markers, 3 Nephi 13:23-29 
(For the two testaments of Christ)

Day 3: Three Magi Gifts, Matt. 2:1-12 
( 1. Hershey mini gold bars, 2. prayer rocks, & 3. Band-Aids.)

Day 4: Four Lights a Shining, Matt. 14-16 
(Attached to a case of 4 light bulbs)

Day 5: Five Talents to Share… Matt. 25:15-29 
(Attached to 5 of those little gold foil choc. coins)

Day 6: Six Candy Canes for Lickin’, John 10:11,14 and Alma 5:38-39, 41, 57, 60 (with 6 candy canes dipped in chocolate)

Day 7: The Seventh Day for Resting, Genesis 2:3, Moses 3:3, Abr. 5:3 
(with new year calender)

Day 8: Eight Bells a Playing, Share a copy of I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day  (with 8 chocolate bells)

Day 9: A Nine Inch Loaf for Sharing, John 6:35, 5-51 
(with a loaf of bread)

Day 10: Ten Lights a Winking, Matt 25:1-12 
(with 10 candles)

Day 11: Eleven Angles Praising, Luke 2:9-14 
(with plate of 11 sugar cookie angels)

Day 12: Twelve Carolers a Caroling, D&C 112:12,14,21, & 30, 
(with all of us caroling & present a nativity to them - we had to grab three other people to help sing though.)

EXPLANATION OF THE THREE MAGI GIFTS:

Olive oil would have worked for myrrh and was my Dad’s choice back then, but after talking about it Russ and I were concerned that the families with little kids wouldn’t really relate to that like they would Band-Aids. Anyway, so this would make sense to them, so we enclosed the following inside each of the corresponding 3 gifts:

Gold has been used as a symbol for purity, value, royalty, and particularly roles that combine these properties.  I hope you enjoy your gold "bars" of gold this Christmas season. Don’t forget that Christ is the "King of Kings", and the "Prince of Peace".

Frankincense was the purest incense. When burned it produced a white smoke which symbolized the prayers and praises of the faithful ascending to heaven. Because the ancients often burned frankincense during religious rituals, this gift symbolizes sacrifice, Christ’s divinity, His sweet savor, and His priestly role.

Since we didn’t have any Frankincense to give you, we thought a prayer rock might do the job. Put it on your pillow in the morning when you say your prayers, and then don’t take it off until after you’ve said your prayers at night. That way if you forget and jump into bed, the prayer rock will give a sharp reminder as it is uncomfortable to put your head on!! Prayers are important because it opens the door for Heavenly Father and Christ to be able to communicate with us.

Because of myrrh’s various medicinal uses this gift represents Christ’s human nature: The Suffering Savior, The Great Physician, and The Passion.  We thought you might enjoy these colorful Band-Aids instead.  Whenever you are hurt, remember that the Savior suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane not only for our sins, but to have a perfect understanding of the suffering of the world – even physical. There is nothing that you will go through that He hasn’t already experienced – and He wants to help you through it if you will let Him.