Monday at the chiropractor's I had an epiphany. This guy is trying to straighten out my spine, which is twisted (scoliosis) and is why I have so much lower back pain, sciatic nerve issues, knee and ankle issues, and so forth. It's nuts! He did what I call his "karate chop" on my... it's not the pelvis but starts with an "S".... anyway, he did this incredibly painful but amazing thing that he does, and then I got up from the "torture table" and he was reassuring me that because it had been twisted for so long he needed to redo and redo and redo until my body decides, "Hey, I'm getting kinda used to this new way of a straightened spine."
Which I already knew - this kind of healing takes time and diligence. But as he was talking I had this epiphany about new habits. I was thinking of how many times I have had to renew my dedication to something before it really became a part of me. And how many times do we have to repent before we really "get" it? I know sometimes it's instant - like me going off wheat. The moment the doctor said, "Your test results say you're allergic," I was over wheat. BOOM. Drop mic, whatever. But this getting up early thing, and writing “X” amount of words everyday, etc. etc... not the easiest things I've asked of myself. I've always said I can out project anyone, but it's the long term daily habits that I have choked on.
As Matthew Broderick said in the movie Ladyhawke, "I know I promised, Lord, never again, but I also know, YOU know what a weak willed person I am." LOVE that line, because I soooo relate to it.
In Bright Line Eating we have this thing called "Rezoom." If you find yourself having a moment where you've muddied your bright lines.. say you ate something with sugar in it or you ate more than your three meals, the counsel is to REZOOM IMMEDIATELY. Recommit to yourself, forgive yourself, and move forward at that moment with the program. When I first heard it, it reminded me of the repentance process.
Anyway, while the chiropractor was talking I had all this running through my head and I was thinking how new good habits "heal" us from old ones, and how we have to give it time and "snap back into place" regularly until it becomes second nature. And his comment on healing made me think of how it's EXPECTED. He expects my back to twist again - that's why I have to see him in two weeks. So maybe when we fall off whatever wagon we're trying to stay on, instead of getting frustrated, maybe we should be glad that we're one fall closer to "healing" - to the new habit we're challenging ourselves through positive choices to create.
Take it a step further – Because after all, every week we RENEW our baptismal covenants, right? So then, how much charity might we have for another when we recognize the pattern of trying and failing until we try and get it right? The important thing is that like Elder Holland and President Hinckley admonished us all, “Don't quit.”
QUOTES:
“Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.” ~ Elder Jeffery R Holland, “An High Priest of Good Things to Come,” October 1999
“Please don’t nag yourselves with thoughts of failure. Do not set goals far beyond your capacity to achieve. Simply do what you can do, in the best way you know how, and the Lord will accept your effort.” ~ President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Rise to the Stature of the Divine within You,” October 1989
“You have not failed until you have quit trying.” ~ President Gordon B Hinckley, “Live Up to Your Inheritance,” October 1983
Alma 32:21-43 (Likening habits to faith, and having faith to experiment)
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