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There is only one day one.


Today's yummy  BLE lunch

I restarted my BLE journey several times in the months of November and December.  I couldn't seem to get grounded.  I'd start in the morning, and by the time evening rolled around I was popping chocolates out of the Russell Stover boxes I had bought for the kids.  There's a term I started saying to myself:
"Bad Mommy."

New Years rolled around and I got better, but still struggling.  Struggling with chips, chocolate and fruit snacks.  That's it!  Just eliminate those three things from the planet and I was fine.  Except I'm not.  It was a really, really hard fall.  

And then the other night I really poured my heart out to Heavenly Father.  I told him I was drowning, that I wasn't doing super hot with this diet thing anymore, and I really needed some strength from beyond myself.  I felt like I was in chaos, and I wanted peace.  This morning this thought came to me:

"In that moment you are in control. You are in control when you take the time to choose."

I committed to myself to stop and choose to put something in my mouth. It isn't chaos, but a powerful choice either away from what I want, or toward what I want, which is happy, thin and free.  Later I listened to a meditation for Day One of BLE Bootcamp, and she mentioned that there will never be another day one.  And you know right, she's right.  Even though I lost a total of 70 lbs and put back on 18, I was still 52 lbs. thinner than when I started, and I'm a whole lot smarter.  This truly is a journey, and it's not perfect, but it's mine.  I can't go back to who I was.  I am changed.

Day one of reboot, but Day 306 since DAY ONE.  Onward and upward as they say...


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