There is only one day one.

Today's yummy BLE lunch

I restarted my BLE journey several times in the months of November and December. I couldn't seem to get grounded. I'd start in the morning, and by the time evening rolled around I was popping chocolates out of the Russell Stover boxes I had bought for the kids. There's a term I started saying to myself:

"Bad Mommy."

New Years rolled around and I got better, but still struggling. Struggling with chips, chocolate and fruit snacks. That's it! Just eliminate those three things from the planet and I was fine. Except I'm not. It was a really, really hard fall.

And then the other night I really poured my heart out to Heavenly Father. I told him I was drowning, that I wasn't doing super hot with this diet thing anymore, and I really needed some strength from beyond myself. I felt like I was in chaos, and I wanted peace. This morning this thought came to me:

"In that moment you are in control. You are in control when you take the time to choose."

I committed to myself to stop and choose to put something in my mouth. It isn't chaos, but a powerful choice either away from what I want, or toward what I want, which is happy, thin and free. Later I listened to a meditation for Day One of BLE Bootcamp, and she mentioned that there will never be another day one. And you know right, she's right. Even though I lost a total of 70 lbs and put back on 18, I was still 52 lbs. thinner than when I started, and I'm a whole lot smarter. This truly is a journey, and it's not perfect, but it's mine. I can't go back to who I was. I am changed.

Day one of reboot, but Day 306 since DAY ONE. Onward and upward as they say...

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