Blue Raspberry Sky

My daddy and I Christmas 1974 Lately thoughts of my dad have been coming up.  He died in 2008 with colon cancer.  It wasn't an easy thing to deal with, and the grieving process seems to be slow. When my grandma died in March, I was struck with this overwhelming feeling of loss.  Not just her death, but all the ones that had preceded it.  Grandparents, my dad, great aunts and uncles...  a whole generation, gone, and my dad was the first of the next.  And I thought about how I wished I could talk to dad, and just have that fatherly voice in my life.   To be able to connect with him and hear his thoughts on things. Remember I said I was in burnout the last time I blogged?  Well, I am pulling out of it.  I took some time and worked through a little book called Make It Happen by Lara Casey.  I'll blog more about that later - it's enough now to say, her questions kept bringing up some interesting answers for me, and my dad ...

I have been hesitant to write about religious things for a long time now.  I guess you might say I allowed the opinions of others to bother me...  I didn't want to be one of those that trivialized the scriptures, or made life seem more perfect than it is.  Being LDS does not mean everything is going to go smooth in your life.  It's more realistic to say that it doesn't. But I was listening to a 2017 Time Out For Women talk, and in it Laurel C Day  showed a clip of an address that Elder Holland gave.  He said, "Be of good cheer.  We are COMMANDED to be of good cheer."  And I thought to myself, "Oops."  I know that's something I've been lacking in, so I started looking for ways to have "good cheer," and I remembered that sharing what I've learned about gospel principles makes me happy.  So I'm going to write this, and I am just going to hope that even though I tend to wax long winded on gospel subjects, it will be okay to th...

Today's yummy  BLE lunch I restarted my BLE journey several times in the months of November and December.  I couldn't seem to get grounded.  I'd start in the morning, and by the time evening rolled around I was popping chocolates out of the Russell Stover boxes I had bought for the kids.  There's a term I started saying to myself: "Bad Mommy." New Years rolled around and I got better, but still struggling.  Struggling with chips, chocolate and fruit snacks.  That's it!  Just eliminate those three things from the planet and I was fine.  Except I'm not.  It was a really, really hard fall.   And then the other night I really poured my heart out to Heavenly Father.  I told him I was drowning, that I wasn't doing super hot with this diet thing anymore, and I really needed some strength from beyond myself.  I felt like I was in chaos, and I wanted peace.  This morning this thought came to me: "In that...

The weather in Idaho has been less than friendly this autumn.  Crazy amounts of wind have caused havoc on the roads, an early snowfall froze our leaves so that they fell before the really brilliant colors came out, and temperatures have ranged in the 40's and 50's during the day only to dip below freezing at night. I'm going to blame the weather, because I may have gone overboard with hot cocoa.  One of our local grocery stores had a sale on it, and I bought two cans of everything:  Hot Apple Cider, Mint Truffle Cocoa, Cookies and Creme Cocoa, White Chocolate Cocoa, Peppermint Cocoa, Roasted Hazelnut Cocoa, Toasted Coconut Cocoa, Milk Chocolate Cocoa with Marshmallows, Salted Caramel Cocoa, Peanut Butter Cocoa, Raspberry Creme Cocoa and Chocolate Covered Cherry Cocoa.  I don't know why I did it, but I'm calling it a mommy moment. Mommy moments are when you do something rash that seemed reasonable at the time.  I have these moments when I have thoughts lik...

Have you ever found yourself in an anxious state, where in your mind you feel yourself out of sorts?  Reading is boring, there's nothing good to watch, my usual interests have no hold on me, and annnnd...   I can't focus to write.   I pick up a few things around my room.  Get distracted and pluck my eyebrows.  Then I change my clothes, maybe take a shower.  Then I sit down again.  Then I get up.  Open the fridge.  Remind myself I don't eat to relieve stress anymore.  Go kiss the kiddo.  Sit down to write.  Start all over again. Yes, I have been known to take three showers in one day.  😕 The best thing I know to get focused is to talk it out.  Sometimes I make a phone call, and sometimes one of my kids will sit on the edge of my bed to listen to my rantings.  Primarily when I get like this it's over a plot hole I've discovered in a novel I'm working on, so verbally sifting through the h...

Last night my sister-in-law told me about some cookies she made for her kids.  I got excited because that was a recipe *I* could do for myself...  for breakfast!  With a little tweeking, of course.  ;) Here's the original recipe: 2 mashed bananas 1 cup oats Chocolate chips to taste. Stir together, drop on cookie sheet (I greased mine) and bake at 360 for 15 min.  She doubled her recipe and made two dozen. For BLE breakfast (What I ate): 6 oz banana (weighed, then mashed) 1 oz oatmeal some shakes of cinnamon and nutmeg Same - stirred together, dropped on cookie sheet and baked same degree for same amt of time.  Finished off with an 8 oz glass of milk...  Cookies for breakfast, and still losing weight the healthy way!  :) FYI - I am at 71 lbs lost...  last month was excruciating!  I cheated just a little for General Conference and then I found myself eating just tiny little bits of stuff we don't eat on the plan.  I ...

When I started Bright Line Eating, I was amazed at the beautiful food I got to eat.  Not even kidding!  There's something about the deep greens of spinach against the yellow cherry tomatoes, red peppers, and white onions... and so forth.  Or a beautiful plate of spaghetti squash and meatballs.  The first time I sank my teeth into spaghetti squash?  Oh. My. Gosh.  So yum! All Bright Line Eating (BLE) recipes are simple because we weigh everything.  Here is my favorite tuna salad recipe (made for lunch): 4 oz of romaine salad mix, spinach, cherry tomatoes, & bell peppers (any color) 1 oz pickle, finely chopped 1 oz onion, finely chopped 1/2 oz mayo 1 boiled egg, peeled and smashed 2 oz tuna Arrange the 4 oz of salad veggies on the plate.  Mix the pickle and onion together with the mayo, egg and tuna.  Scoop on top of the salad greens.  Serve with your choice of 6 oz fruit (my favorite with Tuna salad is grapes).  En...

I'm taking the Personal Finances class in the Self Reliant courses that are offered by the church and enjoying them very much.  A lot of it is review for me, but that doesn't mean I'm not learning anything.  In fact, I have come to understand some principles in a deeper way, and I find myself doing things that I "should" have done long ago;  things I knew I needed and wanted to do, but never seemed to find the time or remember. Don't underestimate the power of a positive group environment.  And even if you think you already know all there is to know about this stuff...  trust me.  The Lord can teach you more.  ;) One of the things I struggle with is the balance of TIME.  Finances too...  but I'll get to that later after I do the budget.  I want to share something about time.  If you've ever listened to Dave Ramsey or taken a course on finances, you've probably heard the concept of: 1) Receive Income --> 2) Pay Tithes a...

61 lbs. released a few wks ago I've been really busy the past few weeks, and I totally spaced posting on the blog.  I've been out camping with my family, taking the kids to hoards of testing for dyslexia, ADHD and Autism, IEP meetings, taught several lessons on Astronomy, bought a new car because the old one just finally wasn't cutting it anymore, so forth and so on.  I wish I could say I've been writing, but alas, that is finally coming into balance again.  It's been a rough road. I'm really excited, though, because through all that stress, especially a road trip, I stuck to my "Bright Lines" (Bright Lines = no sugar, no flour, weigh food and eat only 3 times a day unless you have a medical condition, which I don't), and not only have I not gained a pound back, I've lost four.  :) There is a principle I want to share with you in Bright Line Eating called "REZOOM."  Basically, people fall off the wagon whether it's ...

One of my childhood faves I have a vivid imagination. Always have! I will tell you, I do come by it honestly. My Grandmother tells stories of my Dad tucking a sheet into his shirt, climbing to the roof, and jumping off, believing he was Superman. No broken bones, he just figured out that you really had to be from the planet Krypton in order to fly. Well, already being predisposed to this type of fanciful imagination, I remember a few important movies/TV shows that effected my play. In the pool, I would only swim with my feet together, kicking like Darryl Hannah in  Splash . I wasn't in the pool in the back yard or at a pool party... I was a beautiful mermaid swimming in the depths of the ocean near the city of Atlantis. How I loved to watch my hair float around my face! I could swim for hours that way, completely oblivious to the antics of the other kids around me. Then there was  Star Wars ! I had my favorite white t-shirt I had taken from my dad's chest of dra...

Lester Langley WWII Army Sergeant  Before he met and married my grandma. I have a lot of stress in my life right now.  Things aren't going so hot with my boys.  There are days I feel like I'm going to crack in half.  Life isn't always easy, and sometimes, it's downright hard.  I find my mind thinking about my grandpa a lot lately.  A LOT.  I don't even know what to say, and this is my meme!  I just know that I miss him.  He died when I was sixteen and I think I've grieved ever since.   10 things I hope my kids remember about  him when I'm gone: 1.  I loved him so very much.  He made me a Winnie the Pooh house when I was two.  I kept it until a dog destroyed it about 7 years ago.  He sang "You Are My Sunshine" to my sister and I...  and also played it and other tunes on the harmonica. 2.  Once when I was three (and remember it to this day) I ran into the kitchen because I thou...

Monday at the chiropractor's I had an epiphany. This guy is trying to straighten out my spine, which is twisted (scoliosis) and is why I have so much lower back pain, sciatic nerve issues, knee and ankle issues, and so forth. It's nuts! He did what I call his "karate chop" on my... it's not the pelvis but starts with an "S".... anyway, he did this incredibly painful but amazing thing that he does, and then I got up from the "torture table" and he was reassuring me that because it had been twisted for so long he needed to redo and redo and redo until my body decides, "Hey, I'm getting kinda used to this new way of a straightened spine." Which I already knew - this kind of healing takes time and diligence. But as he was talking I had this epiphany about new habits. I was thinking of how many times I have had to renew my dedication to something before it really became a part of me. And how many times do we have to repent...

2015 2 years old My son was diagnosed with autism the year of 2016 in the month of October.  It's been an interesting road.  He is a joy, and I feel lucky to have him in my life.  I also get exhausted physically, emotionally, and mentally at times.  Milestones with him are different than other kids his age.  One that I got excited about was when the preschool teacher told me he was playing alongside the other kids.  Not with them, but alongside them, which after months and months of flat out ignoring them, was an incredible milestone.   Also, he has learned to play peek-a-boo!  He's always loved playing that game, but his version was sitting under the blanket or hiding in a curtain giggling and stimming until you exposed him by pulling off the blanket or unwrapping the curtain.  He would just laugh, and laugh and laugh!  Last month he was sitting next to me on the couch and covered his eyes.  Apparently I took to lon...

Today I took this photo for my mom. 56 lbs lighter Back in late May/early June my mother came up to see the kids perform in the Idaho Falls Temple Cultural Celebration.  It was really a cool show, and I'm super happy my kids were able to participate.  Anyway, while she was here she gave me BOXES of smaller clothes. That's significant, because at the time I was "just slightly" too big for them, and "in a few months" I "should" be able to fit in them.  There are still some sitting in the back of the closet, including a skirt I adore that I bought myself before I ever heard of Bright Line Eating and just knew that "someday" I would wear it.  I now look at it and dream of serving Christmas dinner while wearing it. It's funny how we talk to ourselves because we're unsure of future even though we know what we want, but we also know we don't have a way to get there.  I'm so grateful for prayer, and for my Heavenly F...

Random Photo prompts are fun.  Go to your box full of photos (or that flash drive you have full of unprinted pictures) and pick one or two and write about the memory attached to it. Here's mine: Savannah and Rion 2004 Once upon a time I lived in Texas.  Seemed we'd never leave that state - after all, Texans KNOW that Texas is God's country.  Everything is better in Texas.  Why on earth would you ever leave?  Except...  there are no mountains, and that's where we felt the call to go. So we moved to Idaho.  We thought our family would respond with a sense of adventure.  We did.... until we tried settling in.  That's when we got homesick.  We went from having too much family to none.  And church culture is VERY different up here than back home.  That was a blow because we had hoped to rely on the church to help us acclimate.  We were having trouble adjusting. We also got SAD (Seasonal Affective Diso...

My pink elephant in the room:  my weight, and/or my weight loss.  Seriously, a lot of people look at me and size me up, but they won't say anything.  My family wouldn't ask me about it - they'd talk to my mom.  "What's happened to Aine?" they'd say.  And now people look at me funny but only a few have asked me about losing weight.  My son's speech therapist came out last week and finally said, "You look really good today."  I thanked him and smiled... I was wearing a baggy shirt that had grown too big as I shrink, a pair of faded jeans that have a hole in them (that wasn't there when they were brand new), no jewelry other than my wedding ring, and barely a hint of lipstick and mascara.  But I looked GOOD.  Gave my husband and I a giggle.  Here I am at top weight: Me - Jan 2017 There are two rules you don't cross in polite society:  you never ask a woman her age or her weight.  These questions will earn you hate look...